The Second HOND Auction!
by Spritegirl01
Summary: The idea belongs to Opal, I give her full credit for the plot, I just hought it would be funny if I did one myself. I had a great time doing it, but the WHOLE idea belongs to OPAL not me. The cartoon people belong to Disney, and Victor Hugo.


**The Hunchback of Notre Dame Auction!**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters, or the plotline. Plotline belongs to Opal; I thought that I'd do my own. Characters belong to Disney and Victor Hugo.

People-

Kaitlin (Me)

Samantha

Sarah

Zeel

Mr. Douglas (Auctioneer)

"Ok listen up everybody, listen up!" Mr. Douglas banged his gravel on the stand, everybody else was still chatting excitedly- "I SAID SHUTUP!" Everyone quieted down, alarmed at Mr. Douglas's sudden outburst. "OK welcome too the second Hunchback of Notre Dame Auction."

"WHOOOOOOOOOO!" Samantha yelled, "I want CLOPIN!!"

"HEY NO HE"S MINE!" Sarah yelled

"SHUTUP everyone!" Kaitlin yelled.

"Thank you Kaitlin" Mr. Douglas replied looking around, "We will be auctioning off the characters according too face time, first off it's the funny, the hilarious, the fast running-"

"Esmeralda?" Sarah asked.

"Nooo, its Quasi's mom!" Mr. Douglas gestured to the blushing lady standing nervously by the curtain.

"Hello!" She yelled waving.

"Bidding starts at 5 dollars." Mr. Douglas smiled.

"Hey I'm important! I'm the reason Quasi was brought to Paris!"

"OHH!! I'll buy her for ten dollars!" Kaitlin yelled, waving her arms.

"SOLD to KAITLIN!" Mr. Douglas pointed over to Kaitlin, Quasi's mom sat down by her.

"I'm gonna buy every character I like!" Kaitlin smiled and dug out her VISA.

"Does that include erm Frollo?"

"Yes! Isn't that nice?"

"Next up the Archdeacon!" Mr. Douglas beamed and pointed to the Archdeacon, who nodded. "Bidding starts at six dollars!"

"Oh he's dreamy! I'll buy him!" Madison yelled, digging out her MasterCard.

"SOLD to MADDISON!" Mr. Douglas yelled pointing at Maddison; the Archdeacon paled and sat down beside her.

"You look even cuter from up close!" Maddison drooled.

"My child, you're drooling on my feet…"

"Next up, the handsome, the hot-"

"The stupid..." Whispered Zeel.

"As I was saying the awesome, Captain Phoebus!" Mr. Douglas was barely heard as the cheering of the fan girls started. "Bidding starts at fifty dollars!"

"I'll bid fifty five!" Samantha yelled.

"Sixty!" Sarah screamed.

"SEVENTEY!" Zeel screeched.

"Do we have seventy five?" Mr. Douglas yelled.

"Eighty!" Maddison yelled.

"Ninety!" Kaitlin yelled.

"SOLD to KAITLIN!" Mr. Douglas yelled, pointing at Kaitlin.

"Don't worry Captain, I'm buying everyone!" Kaitlin beamed as Phoebus introduced himself to Quasi's mom.

"Next up- the awesome, the evil, the guy who mostly everyone hates- FROLLO!!" Mr. Douglas and the sneering Frollo were greeted by Kaitlin cheering.

"Hey, wait didn't he die?" Maddison asked, looking confused.

"So did Quasi's mom, dumb-butt!" Samantha yelled.

"GIRLS! COMPOSE YOURSELFS!" Mr. Douglas yelled, bidding starts at one hundred and ten dollars." Frollo smirked, "He even comes with his hat!"

"I'll bid one hundred and eleven dollars!" Kaitlin screeched.

"SOLD to KAITLIN! Jeeze, again? How much cash do you have?" Kaitlin smiled as Frollo slowly descended to where Kaitlin was sitting.

"Didn't I kill you?" Frollo sneered at Quasi's mom.

"Weren't you dead?" Phoebus snarled.

"Come now guys, and Claude-" Frollo shuddered when Kaitlin used his real name-"No killing Esmeralda, Phoebus, Quasi, and Quasi's mom- you guys too! Oh yeah and Claude _touch Esmeralda and you'll really have something to worry about." _Claude gulped and sat down.

"OK then, next up you know her, you love her and Kaitlin's probably going to buy her- ESMERADA!" A chorus of cheers went up- and died down when Mr. Douglas pointed at Esmeralda, who was smiling radiantly, "Bidding starts at ten thousand." Everyone gulped.

"Hey, I'll bid one dollar over that!" Kaitlin yelled.

"OK, Esmeralda, go join Kaitlin over there- she bought your husband!" Esmeralda skipped down and joined Kaitlin, who had a number of the characters surrounding her.

"You bought _Frollo_?" Esmeralda cried.

"Don't worry, he's been warned." Kaitlin hissed

"Hello dear!" Phoebus cried, as Esmeralda ran into his arms, Frollo sneered.

"Oh stop being so jealous!" Quasi's mom chided.

"OK now, for the big cheese- QUASIMODO!" Quasimodo appeared on stage blushing. Once again only Kaitlin was cheering. "Bidding starts at one million."

"OK now, even _I_ don't have that much." Kaitlin whined.

"Umm a nickel?" Mr. Douglas offered.

"I'll take him!" Kaitlin screamed, as Quasi walked over to sit with her.

"Kaitlin, why the hell are you buying everything?" Zeel cried

"Yeah!" Samantha yelled

"Shut up! Quasi also comes with the gargoyles!" Mr. Douglas cried as the three famous gargoyles come out, a chorus of whines cam up as they hopped over to Kaitlin, who was now smiling deviously.

"OK now for the animals…." Mr. Douglas was sweating, as he said this, a great cry came from Sarah and Samantha-

"WHERE"S CLOPIN!"

"Due to um, contract rights-Clopin had to stay at Disney World." Mr. Douglas sighed as a cry of anger arouse from the stands. Mr. Douglas banged his gravel twice on the stand before the crowd finally quieted down. "OK now for Captain Phoebus's horse- Achilles! Bidding starts at fifty five dollars." No one bid for the poor horse, but then all of a sudden-

"Hello- may I borrow the horse?" Robert Patterson asked.

"Holy CRAP its Robert! Marry me Robert!" Maddison screamed.

"No me!" Sarah screamed, punching Maddison in the face.

"Robert Patterson….." Zeel drooled.

"Um Robert, this is an auction, you could bid for him though.." Mr. Douglas muttered. Kaitlin who always came prepared for Twilight cast members, took a bow and arrow out of her backpack, and shot the arrow though his face. Everyone gasped.

"MUHAHAHA!" Kaitlin screeched, "Finally Robert Patterson is DEAD!"

"HOLY CRAP! YOU KILLED HIM!" Mr. Douglas, Sarah, Madison, Samantha and Zeel cried.

"Good, now then let's get o with it." Kaitlin smiled deviously. Frollo gasped.

"Now, that was evil- I admire you for that my dear." Frollo smirked.

"Hands off pervert!" Kaitlin cried, pushing Frollo away. In a few seconds, Samantha bought the horse for sixty dollars.

"OK all, here are the last three items, E's goat, E's tambourine, and Clopin's hat." Mr. Douglas smiled, the insanity was nearly over! " E's goat will bid for twenty dollars!"

"Thirty!" Sarah yelled.

"Forty!" Zeel yelled.

"Fifty!" Sam yelled.

"Sixty!" Maddison yelled.

"Seventy!" Kaitlin screamed.

"SOLD again to Kaitlin, why do I even bother?" Esmeralda ran up to the stage and left with her goat. "OK this is the last item, E's tambourine- oh wait, plus there's Clopin's hat too!" A great cheer came up when Mr. Douglas said "Clopin". "Ok its five dollars for the tambourine."

"Ten!" Sarah yelled

"Twenty" Yelled Maddison screamed.

"FORTY!" Zeel screeched.

"SOLD to ZEEL!" Zeel pranced up and grabbed Esmeralda's tambourine. Making music with it, and prancing around. Esmeralda glared.

"Why didn't you buy it?" Esmeralda glared.

"People need stuff too?"

"OK next up its Clopin's hat!" Mr. Douglas rubbed his temples as Sarah and Maddison screamed their heads off. "OK bidding starts at fifty five dollars."

"SIXTY!" Maddison yelled.

"ONE HUNDRED!" Sarah screeched.

"Do we have one hundred?" Mr. Douglas asked, slamming his gravel down. "SOLD to SARAH!" Sarah squealed with delight and grabbed Clopin's hat, gently lowering it on her head.

"And that conclude- Oh it seemed I have missed something." Mr. Douglas gulped. "It's Kaitlin's Mary-Sue girl Isabella Louisa Phoebes?" Gasps rang out as Isabella danced on to the stage, wearing a _very_ low gown. "Bidding starts a one cent." No one placed a bid.

"Please will someone buy me?" Isabella purred, stroking her long brown hair. "Please Kaitlin? You made me."

"Hell no! I'm not buying you no matter how much Frollo wants me too."

"Well Frollo's dreamy!" Isabella giggled.

"Yeah?! Well you're a SLUT!" Sarah yelled.

"You know what?" Maddison asked, "I better buy her..." Maddison dug out a penny and Isabella came to sit by her.

"Were gonna have sooo much fun!" Isabella giggled.

"HOLY SHI..." Kaitlin screamed.

"IS THAT..." Samantha yelled.

"JASON!?!" Mr. Douglas screamed and ran for cover. Pandemonium hit the gym, as everyone but Isabella ran for cover, hiding behind the entry doors. As they peered over they saw the hockey mask covered, chainsaw wielding monster approach Isabella.

"Shh, everyone-if he spots us were dead." Kaitlin whispered.

"Why hello! That's a funny mask you're wearing!" Isabella giggled, as she said that, Jason brought his chainsaw down and Isabella, was no more. Everyone shuddered as Jason buried her under the floor and disappeared, from behind the door everyone sighed with relief. "I don't think we should EVER do that again." Mr. Douglas gasped.

"I second that Sir." Samantha sighed.

"Now who wants ice cream?" Maddison asked.

"ME!" Everyone yelled.

"My teat!" Maddison beamed, and lead them to Reid's Dairy, where they had a grand old time, despite the fact everyone was wondering why Frollo, Esmeralda, Phoebus, Quasi's mom and Quasi were doing there with them.


End file.
